


Don't Go Bacon My Heart

by NSFW_is_just_a_suggestion



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Casual Sex, M/M, also they eat breakfast, just look at that name, like seriously there are a lot of bad puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 19:25:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2359499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NSFW_is_just_a_suggestion/pseuds/NSFW_is_just_a_suggestion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint tells really bad jokes and Bruce doesn't get them</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Go Bacon My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry (not sorry).

It was another quiet morning in Avengers Tower. Tony was probably down stairs somewhere making something dangerous, Steve and Sam were off looking for more info on the Winter Soldier, Thor was back in Asgard for the time being, Natasha was off doing her own thing, and Clint was walking into the kitchen scratching his own ass. He looked more asleep than awake in his over sized purple tee shirt and his black pajama bottoms that looked as if they had a little fuzz to them. His shaggy blonde hair was still in a mess and his eyes looked as if they were still closed. He shuffled effortlessly to the coffee pot, removed a mug with a picture of a frog on it from the cupboard, and filled it. Leaning against the counter, Clint finished off half of the cup before sighing and finally opening his eyes. Bruce banner sat at the table staring at him, a spoon in one hand and a mouth full of cheerios.

"Oh, hey." Clint said as he topped off is mug

"Morning." Replied Bruce as he swallowed his food. "When did you get back?"

"Last night, just after midnight. I didn’t realize anyone else was here."

"Just myself and Tony, but he has been staying in his work shop most of the time. Sometimes I can go days without seeing him. Pepper comes and goes too." Clint nodded his head and sipped from his cup as he listened.

 

Bruce had been living in the Avengers Tower since the events that brought the team together. Tony offered Bruce a place to live and that along with the laboratories, the ample research material, and the fact that no one here wanted him dead, how was he to say no. Clint, on the other hand, came and went. He would leave for a time and then come back, covered in bandages mumbling under his breath about Russian mafia and such and the rest of them just chose not to ask. Lately though, he was here more than away and Bruce liked having someone to talk to other than Jarvis for a change.

"So how long are you planning on staying this time?"

"Dunno. Haven’t decided yet. Maybe a week or so." Clint shrugged 

"Tony got the training room fixed up again after my last session in there. He said he added more moving targets for you."

"Cool, I’ll need to take a shot at that." Clint grinned and winked.

"Okay." Bruce looked down at his empty bowl. "I should probably get going, I have a lot of work to do today." He stood up and carried his bowl over to the washing machine, placing it inside.

"Don’t leave yet. Let me make you a proper breakfast."

"I’m fine, really. Thank you though."

"Come on man, I make an eggcellent omelet." Clint paused, as if waiting for a reaction.

"I dunno, I already had some cereal. That is really enough for me. Besides." Bruce pointed over his shoulder to the door, indicating he should probably get going.

"Don’t you waffle on me Bruce." He paused again "let me make you something."

"Another time, thank you."

"Okay, but I’m going to hold you to that." Clint crossed his arms and smirked. Bruce felt himself smile and his stomach tightened a bit.

"Yeah, sounds good." Bruce left the kitchen. Barton sighed and let a slight grin touch his face. He then proceeded to make himself breakfast.

It was the next afternoon before Clint and Bruce saw each other again. Bruce came out of the lab rubbing his eyes, making his way to the kitchen. He was passed by the door to the entertainment room. When he heard Clint’s voice call out.

"So the groundhog finally came out of his hole." Bruce stepped back and looked through the door. Clint sat, legs crossed, on the over sized couch in front of a television that could have been a small movie theater screen.

"I’m sorry?" Bruce walked in.

"Haven’t seen you in a day or so, things going your way?"

"Yeah, I finished up my latest project, I was just going to go get a snack from the kitchen." Clint held up the large bowl of popcorn from his lap.

"Come. I have snacks, there is soda in the fridge in the corner, and Dog Cops is about to start." Clint seemed very eager in his invitation. Bruce let out a slight laugh. 

"And what is Dog Cops?"

"You’ve never seen an episode of Dog Cops?" Clint said, feigning surprise.

"Can’t say as I have."

"Well, it is a show about cops."

"Yeah?"

"Who are dogs."

"Of course they are."

"That’s why it is called Dog Cops."

"I see." There was a moment of silence as the two men stared at each other. Clint raised the bowl again.

"Snacks and excellent television. That is what I have to offer. You in?" Bruce looked down at his feet for a brief moment and then looked back up with a slight grin.

"Sure." He crossed the distance between them and sat down on the oversized couch just beside Barton who handed him the bowl.

"You’ll love it. This show has had the critics barking since season one."

 

An hour later, the bowl emptied and the credits to Dog Cops rolling, Clint stretched his arms above him in a yawn.

"So, how was your first time? Enjoy it as much as you thought?" A smirk on Clint’s face. The two men had moved closer together over the last hour. Legs touching, neither one seemed to notice.

"Well, that certainly was a show about dogs who were cops."

"Please, they are cops first dogs second. Except officer Butterscotch. She’s just a bitch." Clint said, scratching at the bandages on his right arm. This visit to the tower, much like many of his others, saw Clint sporting numerous bandages and fading bruises. Bruce looked him over. A wrapping on his right forearm, a smattering of small band aids on his other. Both eyes seemed to be healing from bruises but at different rates making Bruce think they were from separate fights. There was a small bandage across the bridge of his nose and Bruce couldn’t help but imagine all of the other injuries hidden under Clint’s clothes.

"Why do you do it?" Bruce finally said. Clint, who had resorted to using a nearby pen to get under the bandage looked up confused. "I mean look at yourself. What even happened to you?"

"Oh." Clint flushed a little "um, me and some guys didn’t really see eye to eye on building management. It’s a long story, don’t worry about it. This is just part of the job though, you know how it is."

"Clint, what are you going to do if you get seriously hurt or die, you don’t have any powers to keep you safe." Bruce said this and then regretted it instantly. Clint looked forward for a moment before shifting his body so he faced Bruce, sitting cross legged on the couch. A slight smile touched his lips.

"You’re right, I know I’m not top dog. I don’t have a suit of armor, I’m not a super soldier or a god, I am not the world’s greatest assassin, and I don’t have an awesome green rage monster inside keeping me safe. I was blessed with good aim, quick wit and a bark worse than my bite. That’s all I’ve got to work with, and if I go to the doghouse while helping people, I’ll go with my tail wagging. That is what being an Avenger is about, staying pawsitive when things get ruff." Bruce wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come. Clint stood up, patted Bruce on the shoulder twice. "See ya in the morning, I’ll make woofles."

 

The next morning, Bruce finally took Clint up on his offer for breakfast. After that, he retreated to his lab for the rest of the day. That afternoon, as Bruce was changing slides under a microscope, he heard the door to the lab open. He looked up to see Clint walking inside, looking around as if he had never seen it before. He walked forward and leaned against the lab table.

"Hey, you come here often?" Clint winked at Bruce who tilted his head slightly.

"This is my lab, I’m here most days. You know that." At this Clint straightened up and looked around again. "Is there anything I can help you with Barton?" Clint looked him in the eye again.

"Yeah. The thing is, I need a second opinion. I went to see my doctor today and he said I was lacking in vitamin U." Clint winked again at this as he grinned. Bruce stood up from his chair and looked into Clint’s eyes.

"That is odd. Who did you go see? Are they a Shield regulated physician?" Bruce placed his hand on Clint’s jaw, pulling his head closer as he looked at him. "Your eye twitched twice, how long has that been happening?" Clint snorted out a laugh as he broke himself free from Bruce’s grasp.

"It’s fine. It’s nothing, just forget about it." Clint was enjoying himself. "Tell me something though, Bruce. Are you from Tennessee?"

"What? No. I’m from Florida. Clint, what is going on here, what do you want?" There was a short pause as Clint stood motionless.

"Because you are the only ten I see."

"What?"

"Okay I’m bored." Clint flopped down onto a nearby chair. "I already broke the new targets in the training room, Stark said he was too busy to fix them and then locked me out of his lab, and I’m pretty sure Jarvis cheats at chess." At this Bruce sighed and pushed his notes to the side. Resting up against his desk.

"So what can I do to help?" He asked with a smile. Clint seemed to think for a second and looked at Bruce with a straight face.

"Wanna have sex?"

"Excuse me?" Bruce laughed at this.

"Sex. You and me. Completely casual I’m hot, you’re hot neither of us have been laid in a while so let’s have some fun sex." Clint had his head in his hands and was staring up at Bruce with wide eyes.

"And how do you even know that I am attracted to men?"

"Stark can’t keep his mouth shut."

"Of course he can’t." Bruce turned a shade pink.

"So?"

"Sure. Why not." At this, Clint almost fell out of his chair.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Like you said, it has been a while. Sounds like a good time." Bruce stood up and Clint quickly followed, his face a big stupid smile.

"Well alright then! My room is just a floor above, work for you?" Clint hurried over and opened the door.

"Yeah, that is fine." Bruce followed him up to his room. When they got there, Clint hurried in, kicking some clothes into a pile out of the way. He pulled an ipod out of a drawer and pushed some buttons before slapping it down onto a music dock. Instrumental soft jazz began to fill the room as Clint spun around placing both hands on the dresser behind him.

"So, where were we?" Clint attempted to force seduction into his voice. Bruce closed the gap between the and, placing his hand on the side of Clint’s jaw again, pulled their mouths together. Clint let his body fall back against the dresser as he focused on the kiss. First off, he was surprised by how into it Bruce was and, secondly, how good he was. Bruce used just the right amount of tounge as he tasted the inside of Clint’s mouth.

Clint sighed into Bruce, pulling at the lab coat that hid his body from him. Bruce drew his own arms back from Clint’s chest to help take off his own coat. He stepped back and pulled off his shirt. Clint’s eyebrows raised. He raised both of his thumbs at Bruce.

"It’s not like you haven’t seen it before every time I change back."

"Well yeah, but it is sill impressive." Clint took the clothes from him and dropped them on the floor. He let his hands rest on Bruce’s shoulders as his lips brushed the skin of his chest. Bruce breathed a soft moan when Clint took a nipple into his mouth, sucking on it with a light grazing of teeth. Bruce grabbed Clint’s shirt and pulled it over his head. He felt a lump in his throat as he looked down at the scarred and bandaged torso he had expected to see.

"Are you going to be okay with this?" But Clint didn’t take his lips off of Bruce as he worked his mouth down and back up. His breath vibrating on Bruce as he spoke.

"I’ll be fine." He let his tongue drag across flesh as he rose to look into his eyes. "Doesn’t hurt a bit."

"Alright then." Bruce smiled and then grabbed Clint by the shoulders, spinning him around and dropping him to the bed. Clint laughed as he lay there looking up at Bruce who came closer to him. He placed his hands on Clint’s belt and unfastened it. In a quick motion, Bruce had his pants off and Clint lay there in his purple boxers, his erection prominent though the cloth. Bruce got to his knees and spread the thighs in front of him so he could move closer. His body against Clint’s, he pulled down the boxers to expose him. Bruce gave a smile before wrapping his fingers around the cock and stroking. Clint let out a hard exhale as his head pressed against the bed.

"Fuck that’s good." He laughed. Bruce tool that as a sign to move forward so, without warning, the placed his mouth over the head, tongue circling to Clint shuttering in surprise.  
"Warn a guy next time." Bruce hummed an apology which received a similar reaction. Bruce drew back, but Clint could still hear a sucking noise. He raised his head slightly to see several fingers leaving Bruce’s mouth. 

Before Clint could say anything that sounded like a proper sentence, his member was back inside of Bruce and he could feel lips wrapping near the base of himself and the soft thud of the back of a throat. A light touch circled his anus. Clint couldn’t speak but nodding instead to the questioning hum below. A light pressure followed by flash of pain that transformed into pleasure as Bruce entered Clint. A string of complements and swears that did not form any kind of sentence followed when Bruce slid a second finger inside. The fingers worked their way inside of Clint, feeling him as much as he felt them. Within a moment a third finger made its way inside with the others and Bruce's other hand pushing down on Clint’s stomach to keep him from arcing way from him.

"Dammit. I think." Clint exhaled "I need you inside of me." At this Bruce finally drew back and stood up. He smiled down at the man before him, a sheen of sweat on his brow and his body almost shaking from a need. Bruce let his pants fall to the floor and Clint raised another thumb off the bed, nodding slightly.

"Do you have any lubrication?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah," Clint pointed to the dresser across the room. "Top drawer." He raised his head slightly as Bruce crossed the room. 

"How much do you want me to use?" He opened the drawer.

"A buttload! " Clint raised his head slightly, the stupid grin on his face again. Bruce pulled the small bottle out and looked back at him with a puzzled, yet serious look.

"A buttload. That’s a measure of roughly 126 gallons." There was a brief silence.

"Oh. Really?"

"Yes"

"I don’t think I have enough."

"No."

"Maybe, maybe just a handful then."

"That good?"

"Little more."

"There?"

"Yeah. That’s fine." Bruce dropped the bottle back in the drawer before walking back to the bed, coating his own erection in the lube. He crawled up into the bed with Clint, wiping the excess lube onto Clint’s hole. Bruce grabbed Clint and raised him slightly as he slid inside with a firm push. Both men moaned and arched into it falling into a gentle rhythm that picked up the pace within a few moments. Bruce wrapped his still slick hand around Clint’s penis and began to stroke much to Clint’s agreement as his hips bucked and he tightened around Bruce again.

Before long, Clint gripped the bedsheets on either side of him, all but pulling them off the bed and Bruce smiled.

"Go ahead, you go first." Bruce slowed his thrusts and began stroking faster and with string of swears and an arch of the back, Clint came onto his own stomach. Bruce raised his hand that had been in the line of fire and ran his tongue over his own fingers. Clint rocked forward a few times before Bruce, who was still inside of him, took the hint and thrust forward again, quickly with both hands on Clint’s hips.

Several moments of good thrusting, and a begging from Clint, later, Bruce came inside Clint, letting their bodies fall together as they lay their still feeling each other. Bruce slowly pulled out and ran his tongue through the puddle on Clint’s stomach before pressing his mouth against his and laying next to Clint.

"Best. Idea. Ever." Clint panted out in breaths between kisses.

"Thank you for that." Bruce rolled over to his back, arm still pressed against Clint.

"No no, I should be the one thanking you. I needed a rough dick in the ass. It had been to long." Bruce laughed at this.

"Well I’m glad I could help." Bruce turned his head to face Clint as he did the same. "How about in the morning I make the breakfast. Clint smiled. 

"I’d like that."

"Okay." Bruce smirked. "I make pantastic pancakes."

End


End file.
